Berbulan Madu di Kaki Kinabalu (Bahagian 1)

Huhuuuu.. Setelah 20 tahun aku tak naik kapal terbang, hari ni dapat naik. September 2014, aku dan isteri berbulan madu ke Kundasang, Sabah. Kedua-dua kami tak pernah ke Sabah. Sama-sama jadi adventurous sekejap untuk beberapa hari. Takut apa? Redah saja.

Muka excited orang dah 20 tahun tak naik kapal terbang.

Kami bertolak 10 September 2014 lebih kurang pukul 9 pagi dari Main Terminal Building KLIA. Malaysia Airlines jadi pilihan sebab pada aku, flight ni agak jauh dan akan makan masa yang lama. Dan aku tak pernah naik low cost carrier seperti AirAsia, Malindo dan sebagainya. Pada fikiran aku, duduk dua jam lebih tanpa sebarang hidangan makanan boleh mati kutu nanti. Takkan nak bawa sandwich sendiri pulak. Silap-silap nanti kena tahan dengan airport authority sebab bawa makanan luar. Syak beracun ke apa. Tak pasal je. Haha. Aku fikir gitulah.

Our ride to KK. B737-800.

Aku adalah seorang yang gila kapal terbang. Maka bila sampai kat airport, aku pun sibuklah bercerita pasal kapal terbang model itulah, model inilah, jenis itulah, jenis inilah. Isteri akulah yang jadi mangsa kena menadah telinga. Aku pun tak tahu dia paham ke tak, atau entah-entah dia minat pun tak. Haha.

Dalam tengahari, lebih kurang pukul 12, kami pun mendarat di KKIA. Flight ini panjang sebab ada stopover di Labuan. Tapi stopover duduk dalam airplane je. Tak keluar jalan-jalan pun.

Dah sampai KK.

Sampai KKIA, aku hairan. Kenapa airport ni sunyi? Kota Kinabalu International Airport haruslah ada sikit hingar bingar, bunyi bising. Tapi senyap je. Otak masih macam tak percaya aku dah sampai KK. Jadi lambat sikit nak proses apa yang sedang berlaku. Keluar dari ketibaan, aku call khidmat kereta sewa yang aku dah tempah sebelum ini. Terima kasih kepada penyedia khidmat ini dan juga kepada Dr Abdul Qayyum Jumidey kerana merekemenkan servis kawannya ini.


Bersambung ke bahagian 2

I'm back (1436/2015)

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

I'm back. New stories. New status. New responsibilities. New environment. New ME.

Al-Fatihah: DYMM Al-Marhum Seri Paduka Sultan Azlan Muhibbuddin Shah

Merafak sembah sekalung ucapan takziah kepada kerabat DiRaja Perak Darul Ridzuan serta seluruh rakyat di atas kemangkatan DYMM Al-Marhum Seri Paduka Sultan Azlan Muhibbuddin Shah. Al-Fatihah. Semoga Allah SWT merahmati roh Baginda serta digolongkan dalam orang beriman.

Sesungguhnya, daripada Allah SWT kita datang. Dan kepadaNya jua kita akan kembali.

Menua

Malam ini
Rasa panjang
Rasa lewat masa berlalu
Sedang yang selalu itu
Cepat benar rasanya
Panjangnya buat aku punya masa lapang
Punya masa memerlahan
Entah aku sengaja
Entah tak
Jadi perlahan langkahku
Jadi perlahan jantungku
Perlahan ini buatku lapang
Buatku memikir
Selalu hidupku dihamba buat kejar manusia
Sedang manusia kadang berbunga kadang berduri
Tapi dalam lapang ada juga sempitnya
Sempit dada rasa lemas
Sebab itu bila aku sendiri
Selalu kukatakan pada diriku
Bukan muda lagi diri ini
Terasa usia memamah diri
Sudah selalu sakit sempit dadaku
Sudah selalu peningku
Tapi hidupku belum capai hasratnya
Mahu bersama dia
Bina keluarga
Bina bahagia
Di dunia menua bersama
Buat bekal
Supaya bersama sampai syurga.

The Prophet's Mosque as a Rehabilitation Center - Social Roles of the Prophet’s Mosque

By Dr. Spahic Omer

Since its inception, the Prophet's mosque in Madinah functioned as a community development center. It performed numerous religious, educational and socio-political roles and functions. It was a centre for religious activities, a learning centre, the seat of the Prophet's government, welfare and charity centre, a detention and rehabilitation centre, a place for occasional medical treatment and nursing, and a place for some leisure activities.

An artist's rendering of the Prophet's Mosque

Concerning the notion of the mosque partly functioning as a detention and rehabilitation center, many aspects of such a role remained shrouded in a number of ambiguities.  Not only were male captives kept in what can be dubbed as the mosque's detention center, but also the female ones. For the latter, an enclosed space near one of the mosque's entrances was designated.

Furthermore, it is reported that a man called Thumama Ibn Uthal from the Bani Hanifah clan in Najd was captured and fastened to one of the pillars of the mosque. However, the Prophet (pbuh) later ordered some of his people to release him. The man thereupon went to a garden next to the mosque, took a bath and entered the mosque proclaiming shahadah, i.e., he embraced Islam. But, why within the mosque?

The benefits of having a detention center within the mosque's realm were two-fold. First, it ensured safety and fair treatment of internees - generally war prisoners; and secondly, it helped them to slowly and via some hands-on experiences come to terms with what Islam and the Muslims were all about and what they really stood for, taking into account the mosque's both spiritual and societal significance.

This resulted in many a detainee to be won over by the life and demeanor of the Muslims and to eventually accept Islam.  In other words, the place was not a detention center per se. Rather, it was a spiritual and psychological rehabilitation center never excluded from the ever-increasing scope of da'wah (propagation of and calling the people to Islam).

As a matter of fact, every detention center is to function as a rehabilitation center as well. There is no point in sending a person to a detention center as a criminal or an offender, but when he or she comes out, after serving his or her due sentence, the same person comes out still as a criminal and very soon relapses into criminal behavior.

A person is to go to a detention center as a criminal or an offender, but when he or she comes out, he or she should come out as a rehabilitated and a normal positive thinking citizen.  When Thumama Ibn Uthal - whom we have mentioned earlier - embraced Islam, having spent a couple of days tied in the mosque as a prisoner, he said to the Prophet (pbuh):

"By Allah, there was no face on the earth more hateful to me than your face, but now your face has become to me the dearest of all faces. By Allah, there was no religion more hateful to me than your religion, but now your religion has become the dearest of all religions to me. By Allah, there was no city more hateful to me than your city, but now your city has become the dearest of all cities to me." (Sahih Muslim)

The first in Islam who is believed to have had real detention centers was the fourth caliph, 'Ali Ibn Abi Talib. As for the three of his predecessors, Abu Bakr, 'Umar and 'Uthman, they followed the custom of the Prophet (pbuh) in making the principal mosque function as a detention center.

Of the three, only 'Umar is said to have once bought a house in Makkah to function as a detention center. He bought it from a companion of the Prophet (pbuh), Safwan Ibn Umayyah, for four thousand dirhams.

Even this, however, was nothing new. During the time of the Prophet (pbuh), the house of Ramlah bint al-Harith al-Najjariyyah, apart from serving as one of the houses in which some of the Prophet's guests or visiting delegations used to be accommodated, once served as an interim detention center too.

In it, the members of the Jewish tribe Banu Qurayzah -- around seven hundred in all -- were imprisoned after the judgment that their men were to be slain, their property to be divided, and their women and children to be made captive, had been passed on them, until the same was executed at least one day later.

The Prophet (pbuh) gave Banu Qurayzah this treatment because of their treacherous acts against the Muslims during the petrifying battle of the Ditch (al-khandaq) when the very existence of Islam and the Muslims was put in jeopardy, in spite of all the peace and collaboration treaties that existed between the Muslims and the Jews.

The Prophet's Mosque (Masjid an-Nabawi) as it is today

Much more than a mosque

It was due to this particular role played by the Prophet's mosque that the Prophet (pbuh) once wanted to tie a strong demon from the Jinn to one of the mosque pillars, having earlier caught him.

Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet (pbuh) said:

"A strong demon from the Jinns came to me yesterday suddenly, so as to spoil my prayer, but Allah enabled me to overpower him, and so I caught him and intended to tie him to one of the pillars of the mosque so that all of you might see him, but I remembered the invocation of my brother Sulayman (Solomon): "And grant me a kingdom such as shall not belong to any other after me," (Sad, 35) so I let him go cursed." (Sahih al-Bukhari)

For the same reason, indeed, a companion Abu Lubabah Ibn 'Abd al-Mundhir tied himself to one of the pillars in the Prophet's mosque, after indicating to the Jewish tribe Banu Qurayzah, which the Prophet (pbuh) and the Muslims had besieged for days for the reasons earlier given, that if they surrendered they would be killed.

Abu Lubabah was formerly an ally of the Jews and they consulted him about surrendering. Having hinted at their likely fate, he regretted it very much believing that he had breached the limit and in certain ways betrayed the Muslims. He then tied himself in the mosque and refused to be set free until his repentance was accepted, which eventually came to pass.

Abu Lubabah remained at the pillar for some ten or fifteen days. Before every payer, or whenever it was necessary, his daughter would come to untie his bonds. Then after he had prayed, he would ask her to bind him once more. Subsequently, the pillar, which Abu Lubabah had tied himself to, became known as the Pillar of Repentance (Ustuwan al-Tawbah).  At the time of the Muslim military expedition to Tabuk, there was a group of ten men who failed to march with the army along with several other groups.

Each group had its own reasons for the default. The Qur'an says about them:

"Others (there are who) have acknowledged their wrong-doings: they have mixed an act that was good with another that was evil. Perhaps Allah will turn unto them (in mercy): for Allah is Oft-forgiving, most Merciful." (al-Tawbah: 102)

Pressed by guilt, seven of the ten men tied themselves in the mosque to its pillars until the revelation of the said verse in which they were forgiven. Abu Lubabah Ibn 'Abd al-Mundhir was one of the ten men and was one of those who tied themselves.

This article was originally published at Islamicity.com

It is an excerpt from the author's book titled "The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and Urbanization of Madinah".

How Prophet Muhammad Reprimanded Children

“Go away!”

“Stop it, you nuisance!”

Is it not considered ‘normal’ in most societal circles today for adults to address minor children in such a tone, and with derogatory words?

Parents, teachers, and other caregivers can lose their patience with the naughty mischiefs of children very quickly, especially if these children are extremely intelligent, curious, energetic, bold, self-confident and spirited.

Children are a big blessing of God. Having children and raising them righteously lays the foundation of a stable extended family structure.

Whilst most of us are well-aware of and regularly exhort the great rights of parents in Islam, we tend to overlook the fact that little children are also born with certain Islamic rights that we have to fulfill as an obligation. Even the unseen, unheard fetus in the womb has rights, which can delay the distribution of inheritance, as well as affect the rulings regarding divorce in Islam.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) handled many situations involving the antics and natural tendencies of infants and minor children with exemplary patience and good-naturedness.

As God has commanded us in the Quran to emulate Prophet Muhammad as a ticket to earning His ultimate pleasure with us in the Hereafter, we should see how the Prophet corrected or reprimanded small children whenever they did something that could, in the modern world, severely test the patience and tolerance of most stressed-out, quick-to-snap adults.

Tolerance for Infant Messes

Babies under the age of one are cuddly, chubby and adorable; bundles of joy that everyone loves to hold, kiss, hug, coo over and carry around.

That is, until they do something smelly and leaky in their diaper.

As soon as that happens, the hitherto adoring adult (especially a male one) who is holding them, immediately scrunches up their nose in disgust and hands them over to the mother or nanny for cleanup.

However, this was not what the Prophet did in such a situation. He would often take infants in his lap, even though in that era there were no leak-proof diapers!

Narrated Aisha:

“A boy was brought to the Prophet to do tahnik for him, but the boy urinated on him, whereupon the Prophet had water poured on the place of urine.” (Al-Bukhari)

Prophet Muhammad refrained from expressing disgust or immediately denying a newborn baby his lap even when the baby urinated on his clothes! This indicates his exemplarily high level of tolerance for babies’ natural phases, as it is normal for newborns to urinate often.

The lesson for us in this habit of Prophet Muhammad is to not get irritated at the natural, physical messes that babies tend to make (such as nose emissions, excreta, or regurgitated milk), even if the mess gets on our clothes. We should also help clean up the mess without considering it beneath our social dignity to do so.

Tolerating Natural Toddler Antics

Babies grow older to become active and energetic toddlers (known nowadays as ‘preschoolers’), who love climbing on to the laps and backs of adults and playing “rough house”.

It is well known that the Prophet not just allowed children in this age-range inside his masjid during obligatory congregational prayers, but also patiently tolerated their antics during prayers, even if these antics caused noise or disturbance.

Reported by Abdullah ibn Shaddad from his father:

“The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) came out to lead us in either maghrib or ‘isha’ one night, and he was carrying Hassan or Husain. The Messenger of Allah came forward and put (the child) down, then he said takbir and started to pray. During the prayer, he prostrated and made his prostration long.

My father said: “I raised my head and I saw the child on the back of the Messenger of Allah whilst he was prostrating, so I returned to my prostration.”

When the Messenger of Allah finished praying, the people said:

“O Messenger of Allah, during your prayer you prostrated for so long that we thought something had happened or that you were receiving Revelation.”

He said:

Nothing at all happened, but my son was riding on my back and I did not want to disturb him until he had had enough. (An-Nisa’i)

This hadith is another great example of how tolerant the Prophet was regarding children’s naughtiness. Imagine a small child in the age-range 2-4 (who can be carried easily) climbing on to the back of a masjid’s imam during prostration nowadays. What do you think his reaction would be?

Yet, Prophet Muhammad lengthened his prostration just to let the child continue his enjoyment and innocent play, hereby causing some concern and undoubtedly a bit of chagrin to the worshippers praying behind him in the congregation.

Using His Hands Gently to Reprimand

Children love physical displays of affection, and like being touched in a positive manner. Instead of subjecting them to long monologues and lectures to correct their mistakes, physically removing them from harm is more effective.

Narrated Abu Hurairah:

“Dates used to be brought to Allah's Messenger immediately after being plucked. Different persons would bring their dates till a big heap collected (in front of the Prophet). Once Al-Hassan and Al-Husain were playing with these dates, one of them took a date and put it in his mouth. Allah's Messenger looked at him and took it out from his mouth and said: “Don't you know that Muhammad's offspring do not eat what is given in charity?” (Al-Bukhari)

The Prophet taking the date out of his grandson’s mouth himself whilst giving him a short explanation of the reason, deployed the most effective strategy of quickly resolving the situation. Which small child would willingly spit a tasty, sweet date out from their mouth themselves?

Most parents today, however, keep shouting at a small child to not touch an object or to stay away from a dangerous area, all the while being ignored by the child. They then snap and give the child a harsh scolding in front of everyone for not listening to them.

The lesson from this hadith about the correct thing to do in such a situation is for an adult to get up quickly and physically remove the small child from harm, warning them about the reason in brief words.

The hadith below also corroborates this strategy:

Anas said:

“Allah’s messenger was one of the best of men in character. One day, he sent me to do something, and I said: “I swear by Allah that I will not go”. But in my heart I felt that I should go to do what the Prophet of Allah had commanded me. So I went out and came upon some boys who were playing in the street. All of a sudden Allah’s Messenger, who had come up behind, caught me by the back of the neck, and when I looked at him, he was laughing. He said: “Go where I ordered you, little Anas”. I replied: “Yes, I am going, messenger of Allah!” (Abu Dawud)

Prophet Muhammad used a combination of physical touch and gentle reprimanding words to make little Anas realize his forgetfulness. The Prophet knew that it is natural for a little boy to get distracted from an errand by other children’s street games.

This hadith also indicates that when a child passes the toddler stage, it is permissible to train them to do light, easy tasks for adults, but to remember that it is normal for him or her to resist immediate obedience and to get distracted by other children’s play.

Explaining Concisely for Correction

When a child becomes older i.e. beyond the age of 6-7, he or she reaches the age of mentally understanding what is right and what is wrong. When he encountered such a child doing something the wrong way, the Prophet would gently and concisely correct them and explain to them how to do it right, without scolding harshly or making them feel humiliated in front of others.

Umar ibn Abu Salamah reported:

“I was a boy under the care of the Messenger of Allah, and as my hand used to wander around in the dish, he said to me once:

"Mention Allah's Name (i.e., say Bismillah), eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you."  (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Little children have short attention spans, high energy levels, and an extremely curious nature due to which they want to explore everything in the world, most of which is still very new to them. However, we can misinterpret their natural actions and reactions to situations in a negative manner, unless we proactively practice patience with their behaviour without belittling, rebuking or reprimanding them harshly and unjustly.

Because little children are a sacred trust from God, we should remind ourselves not to be harsh with them. God is not even writing their “sins” yet, even if they deliberately break a precious piece of crockery, or touch anything in our cupboards or drawers that we have kept strictly off limits.

As parents, if we lose patience with our children and treat them wrong, we should immediately and sincerely repent for it before Allah. Parents who do not regret nor repent for the wrongs they committed towards their children when the latter were young, weak and dependent upon them, end up being faced with resentful and aloof offspring in their old age, because their little ones grew up with disturbing childhood memories that morphed into a deep grudge over the years.

By regularly reading and studying the Prophet's loving and mild behaviour with children, we can prevent ourselves from treating children in a manner that could displease Allah and detriment our relationship with

them in the long term.

Being The Bigger Person

It’s hard to admit it when we make a mistake. It’s tough to say we’re sorry when we know we've screwed up or done someone wrong. We've all been there and it takes a certain amount of humility to swallow our pride and own up to our faults. It takes a strong person to be that vulnerable.

The hardest thing of all though is letting go when we know we’re right. When we have a million and one reasons to validate our position, when we've got all the evidence to back up our point of view, and the other person is clearly at fault, it takes a lot to give up being right.

That’s what it means to be a bigger person. It means foregoing the opportunity to stick it to someone else for what they've done wrong, even when we know without a doubt that we’re right. It means letting them off the hook, giving them the benefit of the doubt and practicing forgiveness even when we've got them on the ropes.

The fact is that being right doesn't actually translate into peace of mind or fulfilment  Neither does being angry or upset regardless of how good the reason is. This includes being upset with ourselves when we repeat a mistake or let a situation get the better of us. It’s one thing to acknowledge mistakes and honor our darker emotions and another thing to dwell on them for longer than necessary.

What we often fail to realize is that when someone hurts us, the initial upset is nothing in comparison to the suffering we create for ourselves by holding on to it. We replay the inciting event in our minds over and over again, we build up our case and set out to prove that we’re right to ourselves and others; we raise our guard and vow never to let anyone hurt us again. It can get to be quite exhausting and all it does is prolong the suffering and poison our own pond.

Every time we have an opportunity to engage in a battle of right and wrong and we can be present enough to stay out of it, we expand. Someone cuts you off on the road… instead of honking the horn, cursing or flipping the bird, take a deep breath and feel how much strength it takes to remain calm. That’s growth. Someone says something offensive or takes a cheap shot at you…instead of hitting them with a comeback or laying a beat down with a swift karate chop, stay silent and turn the other cheek. Breathe, feel the anger rising up inside of you and see if you can create space for it rather than fueling the fire. That’s expansion. That’s being the bigger person. I’m not saying that we should let people abuse us or take advantage of us. What I’m saying is that we have a choice when things go bad to shake it off or take it on. When we take it on, we waste our energy and we give our power away.

True power, true strength lies in moving through the challenges and the conflicts swiftly and not getting bogged down in the small stuff. It means recognizing another person’s weakness and not holding it against them. It means expanding in love instead of contracting in fear in the face of a triggering event or person who’s looking for a fight. Maybe they’re suffering inside. Maybe they’ve had a rough go. Maybe they just don’t know any better. Who knows?

All I know is that being right is a lost cause. Instead, we can invest our energy in worthy causes. We can create with our emotions, we can learn from our experiences and we can be stronger by allowing ourselves to be exposed, by letting our guard down and continuing to love even after we’ve been hurt a thousand times.

Keep giving, keep loving, keep living. Keep growing, keep learning, keep expanding.

That’s what being a bigger person is all about.

Kisah Hari Ini

Hari ini, seperti biasa hantar Aisyah & yang lain ke rumah mereka. Waktu sedang memandu tengah dalam perjalanan, tiba-tiba terasa macam pada kerusi yang saya sandar, ada sesuatu, menyebabkan rasa tak selesa. Maka, saya pun cubalah gerakkan badan nak tau apa yang ada di situ. Tiba-tiba Aisyah bersuara, "Ustaz, kenapa Ustaz gerak-gerakkan badan?". Lalu dengan rasa tak bersalah, saya pun jawab, "Entah, rasa macam ada benda belakang Ustaz ni." Sambil itu, cuba capai apa yang mengganggu itu dengan tangan. Rupanya ada pen yang diselit di situ oleh Aisyah. Dia pun ketawa suka hati kerana dapat mengenakan Ustaznya.

Ujicuba Masjid Tengku Ampuan Jemaah

Hari Sabtu lepas, 9 Februari 2013. Saya sempat ikut serta bersama-sama hampir 1,000 penduduk Bukit Jelutong & kawasan sekitar dalam ujicuba Masjid Tengku Ampuan Jemaah, Bukit Jelutong. Masjid bernilai lebih kurang RM23 juta ini memang nampak gah di luar, indah pula di dalamnya.

Ilustrasi artis

Dari berita yang diperoleh awalnya, dana pembinaan masjid ini disumbangkan oleh keluarga diraja Selangor melalui Wakaf Almarhum Sultan Salahuddin Abdul Aziz Shah, pemaju Sime Darby Property dan bakinya kerajaan Negeri Selangor. Selain dari itu, penduduk Bukit Jelutong juga berusaha mengumpulkan sumbangan bagi melengkapkan keperluan pembinaan masjid ini.

Pengisian ujicuba malam itu, diadakan bacaan Yasin dan doa selamat. DYMM Sultan Sharafuddin turut singgah memeriksa keadaan masjid yang dalam tempoh percubaan. Selesai solat Isyak, jamuan disediakan untuk para jemaah.

DYMM Sultan Sharafuddin meninjau keadaan masjid

Menurut maklumat yang disampaikan pada malam tersebut. Masjid Tengku Ampuan Jemaah dikategorikan sebagai Masjid Diraja dengan pentadbirannya diletakkan terus di bawah Majlis Agama Islam Selangor. Pentadbirannya akan diketuai oleh Imam Besar. Masjid akan mula dibuka untuk solat fardu bermula 22 Februari 2013. Solat Jumaat yang pertama akan diadakan pada 1 Mac 2013. Perasmian masjid akan disempurnakan oleh DYMM Sultan Sharafuddin dalam satu majlis pada bulan Mac 2013.

Good romantic partners make good parents

LOS ANGELES, Dec 13 – Perhaps not surprisingly, people who are difficult romantic partners are also likely to make less-than-ideal parents, a new study finds.

The same skills that make a person a good mate, such as sensitivity and willingness to cooperate, translate to parenting skills, according to new British research.

“If you can do responsive care-giving, it seems that you can do it across different relationships,” study researcher Abigail Millings of the University of Bristol says in a statement.

The key, says Millings, is a person’s ability to form healthy attachments with other people. Those with issues such as attachment avoidance tend to put up emotional barriers, or alternatively, someone with attachment anxiety may tend to be clingy and insecure.

However, those who form secure attachments are free to be independent in their relationships while also assured that the other person is there for them and vice versa, writes LiveScience.

Millings and her team enlisted 125 British couples with children ages seven to eight to fill out surveys about their romantic attachment to their partners, their romantic care-giving, and their parenting styles.

The researchers classified parenting styles into three groups: the most ideal was authoritative (warm, communicative but in control), and less ideal styles were authoritarian (in control, but lacking warmth) and permissive (warm, but lacking control).

Findings showed that parents who were avoidant or anxious in their romantic relationships were less likely to be ideal parents, adopting either a more authoritarian approach, or the opposite, a more permissive method of parenting.

The findings were published last week in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

Previous research has shown that attachment avoidance and anxiety are associated with more fear about parenting, as well as having struggles being a parent, according to LiveScience. – AFP/Relaxnews